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NYC Men vs. Southern Men – Who’s winning?


Let me start by saying this, the difference between a New York man and a Southern man is simple. Southern men are WINNING.

Charactreristics of a New York Man:

- Egotistic for no reason. (Why is your ego so big and you can't back it up?)

- Aggressive. (Does it hurt to smile and be nice for once in your life? Stop and smell the roses dammit!)

-Fronters! (Stop acting like you know everybody and you got all this money....when you can't even afford a biscuit at Popeyes)

-Lack of knowledge on how to treat a "good" woman. (It's not your fault that you weren't taught this at an early age)

Disclaimer: If you are a New York man reading this, please feel free to comment if you object. This article is not just based on my experience, but seven other women who feel the same way.  I've also eased-dropped on a few conversations with similar stories.  If you can't take the heat then maybe you shouldn't be reading this.  Now back to the article!

Every other Sunday, I have the chance to catch up with many of my girlfriends during brunch. We gather around the table and share our experiences with our current love interests.  We call it our own version of "Sex in the City."  All of us are from different parts of the U.S. Three of us are from Texas, one from Oklahoma, two from Ohio, and my youngest girlfriend is from California. We’re all beautiful, smart, and have great jobs BUT we all have different taste when it comes to men. Some are into personalities, looks, status, age, stability, or sex. Although we all look for different qualities, we all want a GOOD MAN.  Unfortunately, our choices are slim in New York because these men are full of shit.

Ladies, if your looking for a good show and want to be entertained...date a New York man.  They are hilarious and don't even know it. First, they will brag to you about who they are and who they know. Status is everything to them, and they are convinced that this will get them laid.  Also, they feel the need to lie about their financial status.  In some way, I have to blame these young gold-digging women for this. They have triggered men into thinking "money" is all we are worried about.  Maybe this is the reason why New York men feel the need to tell me how much they make in the first conversation we have (FAIL).

Little do they know, this is a turn off to a "GOOD WOMAN."  Why do I need to know all of this false information about yourself first hand?  Can I know your last name before you start gushing out these embellished stories? Just STOP! While you’re too busy trying to play this game called "I want to impress her," in your Sunday's best- you are really losing her interest. I can't speak for all women, but I can definitely speak for the educated, beautiful, talented  and good sisters.  We are able to tell in the first few minutes of a date if we want to pursue you (by this, I mean get to know you better-not a relationship).  So when you start bragging off hand...it will shift the tone of the date. Oh and the funniest part about all of this is...what if we actually do start a relationship? I'm going to find out the truth eventually.  I’ll find out you lied about making 120,000 a year and your car is not really in the shop...because you don't own one!  Get it together and give a woman "you" and not what you think she wants to hear.

Moving on. New York men don't know the core basics of how to treat a "GOOD WOMAN."  Now for all my slow people, I'm not talking about tricking on your woman or showing affection in a public place. I'm talking about the small things.  A "GOOD WOMAN" looks at the small things not what you can do for her.  Let me give some examples for you retarded ass New York men. (Southern men you can skip this part of the article.)

Its 2:00.a.m and you just got back from hanging with your buddies. Now you’re at home and you want some company so you decide to call your "love interest" over. First off, why would you call her over at 2:00.a.m? It is unsafe for a woman to be on the road (let alone the subway) by herself in the middle of the night, but did you think about this? No, you didn't because this never occurred to you. A southern man will be damn if he let his woman get on the road or subway at 2:00.a.m by herself. Hell, I dated a thug back in the day and he ALWAYS insisted on picking me up if I came over that late. Thug or no thug, its naturally installed in a southern man to make his woman's safety a priority. Most New York men don't think nothing of it.

Appreciating a good woman is not just being thankful. A woman likes to know and feel like she's appreciated.  New York men tend to forget about this part.  Holding her hand when you both cross the street, fixing her plate at a BBQ cook out, pulling out her chair at dinner, taking out her trash without being asked, listening to her when she's down, making her laugh, giving her your jacket if she's cold, and randomly text her "I'm thinking about you." I can go on and on.  A GOOD WOMAN looks at these things and it will warm her heart.  Unfortunately, an average woman (who you settle with) probably won't ever notice these things....but that's a different story.

Obviously, east coast and southern men were raised different.  Think about it, it's a slower pace down south so parents are able to take their time and really raise their kids.  When you’re in a fast-past environment (like New York) parents don't have as much time to teach EVERYTHING so things will slip through the cracks.  Most southern men are taught at a very early age how to treat a woman.  They are taught how to be the provider in the house hold, open car doors, walk a woman to her door, and make sure she is always comfortable and respected; and if you grew up with a lot of aunts and uncles you were taught the things your parents might have missed.  Now, I'm not saying every southern man is a perfect gentleman.  There are a small percentage of them who are downright disrespectful, but MOST of them are the true definition of a "wonderful man."

This is probably what New York men will say:

"You must be messing with the wrong New York guy....Not all New York men are alike"

"New York men have more swag than Southern men anyways" (note: the term "swag" is not cute anymore)

"Man, that chivalry shit is dead" (You will NEVER get a GOOD WOMAN with this attitude)

Now you probably think I'm a bitter southern woman who had the worst experience with New York men. Let me be clear once again, this article was based on seven different women experiences and my thought-out research and interviews with New York men.  I do not exempt southern men of being full of shit. I personally think all men are stupid...but there are a few good ones left.

Attention Ladies: If you date a New York man and he doesn't fit any of these horrible qualities...you have snubbed you one of the few good ones. If you are single and running into any of the above issues...don't try to change him, just move on to the next.  If it's not organic, than it shouldn't be. Fronting' is for the birds...we are too old to be lying.

Attention New York Men: If you think I'm wrong about my research, prove me wrong. Let your actions speak louder than your words.  A good woman expects more than average, she wants to be treated like a queen (she deserves it). Oh and if you have one of those qualities above, keep in mind there are a lot of women who will entertain all that non-sense...but don't ever fix your mouth to say "there are no good women" because maybe you need to do some self-evaluating. What you put out...is what you get in return.

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About Kourtney Richard

Kourtney Ri’chard’s natural ability to get the inside scoop and private peek into celebrities lives makes her one of the most sought-after television personalities in New York and Los Angeles. Her fabulous factor puts her at ease with supermodels and designers while her energy encourages actors and entertainers to give her the dish. Check out snippets of Kourtney’s interviews on www.kourtneyrichard.com

74 Responses to "NYC Men vs. Southern Men – Who’s winning?"

  • D Nyce
    January 13, 2013 - 12:28 am Reply

    IM from jersey right across the water from NY and all my homies are from NY.so i know from experience being a black male from the tristate area’tru a lot of newyork men are more aggressive and upfront when it comes to treating they woman .Its the way we are rasied fast paced life style ,but also living in the south jacksonville flordia for 5 years .i saw of bat how them bama cats was mistraeting they woman also calling them every name but the child of GOD .IM FROM the newyork area and i treat woman the way i wanna be treated .thats my word is bond !

  • J.D.
    September 25, 2012 - 1:30 am Reply

    Hi everyone. I’m a southern man and I think that Kourtney’s take on the matter is somewhat accurate. When I lived in New York, my friends there seemed to look at chivalry as being weak or whipped. I have very high self confidence so this really didn’t bother me. Don’t get me wrong though. Some of the guys I know here (the south)don’t appreciate good women either. All I’m trying to say is that how you treat your queen can make you or break you. You get what you put into it. If you love the women in your family then you gotta love the woman that you choose to be your life partner.

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  • Alyssa
    December 16, 2011 - 6:27 pm Reply

    Well i live in NY for 24 years and i have dated and dated, i moved to NC and I met my husband and im not saying my husband is perfect but it took one southern man to show me that men werent all bad. so in my eyes my southern husband is better than any NY man

    • kelly
      December 18, 2011 - 9:29 pm Reply

      I agree with you 100%. I lived in NY for 10 yrs, 8 yrs in LA and I found a wonderful guy in NC. This guy is honorable, family man, great lover, generous, caring, loving, easy going, no games, etc… I guess it took all that “training” in the big cities to prepare me for what I was missing… This “equality” between genders, which most big cities’ men believe in, kills intimacy. Women still want their man to be the provider and protector, hence we respect the guys who offer it freely.

      • Keiffer
        December 29, 2011 - 1:58 am Reply

        I cnnaot tell a lie, that really helped.

    • Dell
      December 29, 2011 - 12:05 pm Reply

      I see, I sppuose that would have to be the case.

  • Amanda
    June 17, 2011 - 8:27 pm Reply

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING THIS. I thought I was the only one who experienced all of this, but you are dead on. I complain to my friends all the time about New York men and how I haven’t felt mistreated or disrespected by men until I moved here a few years ago. As much as I love this city and my career is here, when I’m ready to get serious about love and settle down I will have to leave the city to find a good guy, or maybe I’ll get lucky and find a non-New York born good guy in New York!

  • Julie
    June 9, 2011 - 7:24 pm Reply

    Very insightful article KRich.

    I think one things that is important to note, which you touched on in the article, is that people are a product of their environment. The circumstances and situations from which you derive from can really cultivate and foster the type of person you become. Also, a sense of self and self-worth plays a role. It is true that there is a different in the upbringing of the average NYC dude and the average Southern man…at an early age NYers learn to be tough and protective due to the “Concrete Jungle” from which they emerge…but not Southerners…we do not grow up in a bottled environment that is full of constant turmoil, therefore, we naturally have a Southern Hospitality. So I do believe the environment plays a paramount role on the lack of sensitivity…BUT I can’t completely agree and say ALL NY men “are not” or ALL Southern men “are.”

    I’ve dated (a few) great NY dudes and (many) grimmy NY dudes…the same goes for Southern Men. The ULTIMATE factor is “free will” and “self choice”….the quintessential question ALL men must ask themselves is “Notwithstanding the environment I have grown up in and the way it has made me and my peers, how will I interact, treat, and regard a woman” ….this is the paramount question

  • kevin
    June 9, 2011 - 10:11 am Reply

    I disagree hector. I am a southern gentlemen and not all o
    f us are like that just like I can’t say nyc men are like that a judge mental statement. But I can understand where the young lady is comming from on that note seven of her ferinds have that expercince so. It is a deffrence of oberservation but just like we as me talk about ladys from deffrent states and areas. Really what it all boils down too is how ppl are rasises. If they are rasie the right and adapt the teachings. Of treating a lady like a queen.

  • Damany
    June 9, 2011 - 9:36 am Reply

    Very insightful article Kourtney. Being from Cali I have an objective opinion, but I will ultimately say people, men and women alike have two categories. I refer to the woman’s categories as wifey material, and other. LOL. Some women are woman you think you could spend the rest of your life with, the rest are not. As far as the men, I consider myself to be “top nigs”. Just a term that my friends and I came up with. And the other categories which I believe you are reffering to is “lame nigs”. “Lame nigs” make it easy for “ton Nigs” to shine. But there are relationship worthy people and people that are not relationship worthy no matter where they are from, or what gender they may be. Great article though.

  • Hector
    June 9, 2011 - 9:04 am Reply

    I’m from NY and I know for a FACT southern men don’t know how to treat a woman. They are too worried about jewlry, bling bling, weed, and that purple **** they drink.

    • chuck
      June 9, 2011 - 10:28 am Reply

      First im in houston and there is nothing wrong with purple stuff. Second jewlery and bling bling are the same thing. And your missing the point of the article. We take care of family first down here, that includes our love intrest. And if your not from the south your fact is an opinion. Reread the article and learn something

      • Hector
        June 9, 2011 - 11:18 am Reply

        It is an opinion. Women don’t give two ****s about small gestures and being treated like a queen…they just want somebody to save them. Southern men worried about the wrong ****….and they aint the best *****s in the world. and Kourtney and her girls need to let that fantasy **** go…perfect men don’t exist period, but us NY men can teach them somthin

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